John Mueller


Nine Real Meanings of Plant Catalog Terminology

Nine Real Meanings of Plant Catalog Terminology: 9. “A favorite of birds” means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clotheslines. 8. “Grows more beautiful each year” means “Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future.” 7. “Zone 5 with protection” is a variation on the phrase “Russian roulette,” and it’s likely gonna […]


10 Lessons About Life I Learned From Trees

10 Lessons About Life I Learned From Trees 10. It’s important to keep deep roots. 9. Late bloomers make the strongest most beautiful trees. 8. It pays to branch out. 7. Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. 6. Don’t pine away over old injuries. 5. Be flexible so […]


Top TEN Hilarious Jokes About Lawn and Garden Care

Top TEN Hilarious Jokes About Lawn and Garden Care 10. The Hard-working Chinese Worker. A hard working Chinese man comes to the landscaping company looking for work. The boss says “OK, you’re hired. You’re in charge of the supplies.” In his thick Chinese accent he replies, “The supplies? OK, I […]


Top Five Gardening One Liners

Top Five Gardening One Liners 5. My uncle was going to be a tree surgeon, but he faints at the sight of sap. 4. God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done. 3. A toddler was found chewing on a slug.  After the initial surge of disgust the parent said, “Well, […]


The Top Ten Gardening Riddles

The Top Ten Gardening Riddles 10. Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, they emit foul smells, and they don’t work half the time. 9. What’s red and invisible? No tomatoes. 8. What is a Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone, with no dressing. 7. What can you […]


Defeat the Drought

Defeat the Drought and Revive Your Dreams

Mueller Landscape, Defeating the Villainous Drought and Reviving People’s Dreams. A beautifully landscaped yard and lawn means different things to different people. It can be a symbol of success and competence; an adventure or romance waiting for daring partners; a hint of fun and creativity; or simply, a reason and invitation […]